My coping skills aren’t working anymore

Quick Read

It's normal for coping skills to stop working as personal and societal changes can affect how they work. The global pandemic and social issues may have impacted the effectiveness of previous coping skills. It's important to remember that new coping skills can be learned and that old strategies may work differently in different situations. Trying new strategies, even if they haven't worked in the past, can be helpful, such as meditation, breath work, and setting boundaries. Small things like sticking to a routine can also make a difference.

Full Blog:

We all have coping skills that we rely on to feel better during tough times. If your go-to techniques just aren’t working anymore, you’re not alone.

It’s frustrating and scary to hit a wall with your coping skills—but it’s also normal. It would be so nice if we could just pick one set of coping skills and use them forever. But the truth is, that rarely works. We learn and grow. We adapt to new situations. That’s not a bad thing! You can mourn the loss of some coping skills, while also finding opportunities to learn new ones.

Why did my coping skills stop working?

You may have heard that different things work for different people. But different things also work for the same person at different times. Anything that changes our thoughts, emotions, or situations can change the way our coping skills work.

Some of those changes are personal: You break up with someone. You move to a new place. Your body develops a tolerance for your antidepressants, and they’re not as effective as they used to be. But there are also things that affect society as a whole—especially right now!

Other changes affect millions of people all at once. Right now, a global pandemic is raging. People are waking up to racial tensions and injustices that many have ignored for a long time. The stakes in world events seem higher than ever. This is a unique time! Pretty much everyone is experiencing some of the same issues at the same time—and they all affect our mental health in similar ways.

At the same time, some of your coping skills may not be available right now. Working out at the gym, getting dinner at your favorite restaurant, or visiting family might not be options. Other strategies, like journaling or video chatting a friend, are doable—but you may find that they suddenly don’t work as well as they used to.

Learning new coping skills—and giving old ones a second chance

There’s a flip side to all this change: strategies that haven’t worked in the past may work now! Whenever you hit a wall with your coping strategies, you can add more. This might seem overwhelming if you feel like you’ve tried it all. But remember, the situation you’re coping with right now is different from ones you’ve coped with in the past. It’s only natural that your coping skills will change, too.

If you tried meditating a few years ago and didn’t find it helpful, think about giving it another chance. The same goes for skills like breath work, yoga, spending time outside, practicing gratitude, and any other coping strategy. Small things can and do help in the long run, like sticking to a routine and setting boundaries for yourself.